Bear Down: A Sestina - Tyler Van Swol

After my entire life of disciplined hard work and exhaustion,
I watched helplessly as my dignity flew through the air like a feather.
Knowing I had undeniably failed, standing stunned and shaking.
Seeing my entire life fall apart in that single moment
Paralyzed me as I could do nothing but feel the brittleness of my bones,
Slowly and sullenly sulking away for what could be the final time.

Oh, all the success stories I’ve heard of one’s final time!
Persistently pushing through the endless exhaustion!
But alas, not me, as all I have is a churning stomach and bruised bones.
Knowing the whispers of when my dignity flew away like a feather,
Every new comment like a
blade in my back. Every. . .Waking. . .Moment.
It matters not, my hope to forget, the memory always ending in shaking.

I know not how to push past these momentous moments of shaking!
How can I show my face when I froze in the most trying time?
Why is it I who must be ridiculed because of that single moment?
Eternally I suffer, helplessly hoping it will cease, that exhaustion!
Letting my life crash down upon me because of that frustrating feather!
This gut-wrenching feeling consuming me and my aching bones.

If only there were a way to lessen it, that aching in my bones.
Some minuscule possibility there could be a cease in the shaking.
A world in which my burden reduced to the weight of a feather
An instant which could be remembered without that terrible time,
When my unfortunate fate was sealed, despite my effort and exhaustion.
This question is one I perpetually ponder every waking moment.
And in my pondering, a thought entered my head, at first for just a moment.

​“Today is a new day!” it incessantly stated despite my battered bones.
“Start a new chapter!” it continued, attempting to bait me from my exhaustion.
“What if it’s right?” I said to myself as I started excitedly shaking.
I stood up from my seat and said aloud, “Maybe it’s about time!”
And for the first time in forever, it was gone, that festering feather.

Silently I stood, my sorrow reduced to that flying feather.
At last I could see what had eluded me; my failure was only one moment.
The sun will always shine over me, reminding me that testing time
Was nothing more than that, a test of my will and the strength of my bones.
My reflection drawing to a close, I felt an end to my shaking
Knowing my inner battle had been won, it was time to revisit my exhaustion.

My now sturdy bones have another chance to propel that feather
But the difference in this moment, you see, is there will be no shaking
And no hindrance by exhaustion, because the field goal will be good this time.
Tyler Van Swol, a senior from Regina High School, comments that, "I am writing this poem from what I believe the thought process of Chicago Bears kicker Cody Parkey would be after missing the game-winning field goal against the Philadelphia Eagles in the 2019 NFL Playoffs. As a die-hard Bears fan, I was in disbelief watching this unfold and felt extreme sympathy toward Cody Parkey, but I have hope for the future of the franchise."

The editors were impressed by the poem's adherence to sestina format, its use of the challenge words, and the author's approach to speaking from the perspective of another.

*Picture provided by Pexels